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Unfortunately, even though people are mostly good, sometimes bad people do terrible, incomprehensible things. As parents, it’s our job to talk to our kids about these things when they come to us with questions.
Talking to kids about a distressing event, like the attack in New Orleans on New Year’s, requires sensitivity, honesty, and reassurance. Here’s how to guide the conversation:
1. Start by Checking What They Know
Ask Questions: “Did you hear about what happened in New Orleans?” or “What have you seen or heard about the attack?”
Clarify Misconceptions: Kids often overhear bits of information that may not be accurate, so it's helpful to clear up any confusion.
2. Explain in Simple, Age-Appropriate Terms
Younger Kids: “A person hurt some people with his car on purpose, which is very wrong. Now, police and doctors are helping the people who were hurt.”
Older Kids and Teens: Provide more details but avoid unnecessary graphic descriptions. For example: “Someone drove a car into a group of people to hurt them. It was a very bad and intentional act, but the police are investigating, and the community is coming together to support those affected.”
3. Validate Their Feelings
Acknowledge their emotions: “It’s okay to feel scared, sad, or confused. I feel those things too when I hear about something like this.”
Emphasize that their feelings are normal and show you’re there to support them.
4. Reassure Their Safety
Focus on Rare Events: “This kind of thing almost never happens, and it’s very unusual.”
Emphasize Security: “Police and other officials are working hard to keep everyone safe.”
5. Highlight the Helpers
Share stories of courage and kindness: “Doctors, nurses, and community members rushed to help the people who were hurt.”
Talk about how others are showing care and support for the victims and their families.
6. Limit Media Exposure
Reduce Anxiety: Keep them away from repetitive news coverage or disturbing images, which can amplify fears.
If they’ve seen or read something online, talk about it to provide context and address any fears.
7. Answer Their Questions Honestly
Be prepared for tough questions like, “Why would someone do that?” Answer simply: “Sometimes people make terrible choices because of anger or hate. But most people are kind and want to help.”
8. Provide Comfort Through Routine
Stick to normal routines to help create a sense of stability.
Spend extra time together doing activities that bring them comfort, like reading, playing, or going for a walk.
9. Empower Them to Take Positive Action
Encourage them to help, even in small ways, like writing a note of support, praying for those affected, or talking about how communities come together after tragedies.
Explain how leaders and communities work to make things better and safer.
10. Watch for Signs of Distress
Pay attention to changes in behavior, such as trouble sleeping, withdrawal, or increased anxiety.
If they continue to struggle, consider speaking with a counselor or child therapist to provide additional support.
